This is my attempt to bring back into usage 18 fairly obsolete words in the English language listed here: http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/195348/18-obsolete-words-which-should-have-never-gone-out-of-style/ Thank you Carmel Lobello.
Yesterday, a rather gorgeous young man made me completely lose my pussyvan when he lunted up to my table, sat down and nonchalantly proceeded to groak me.
Not wanting to appear to be an over-eager zafty widow of the Californian persuasion, I said nothing, jirbling the last of the wine into my glass.
As I sipped and smiled at this snoutfair interloper, wondering if he were a queerplunger, the candle spluttered with resestentialism that I had not offered the man a glass.
Downing the last of my wine, I decided I didn’t really care if he were a soda-squirt or a bookwright… I actually wouldn’t mind being his wonder-wench.
You can imagine the curglaff I experienced when he finally spoke, saying his grandfather had invited me to join him at his table for a coffee. It doesn’t take a tyromancer to divine why my pussyvan once again flared.
Feeling quite beef-witted from the bottle of cab sav, I said nothing. The atmosphere was verily with squirrel… my thoughts were simply not Englishable.
I tell you this in strict confidence. I don’t want some spermologer to broadcast it on facebook!
WORD LIST (according to Carmel): http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/195348/18-obsolete-words-which-should-have-never-gone-out-of-style/
Snoutfair: A person with a handsome countenance — “The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever Forgotten” by Jeffrey Kacirk
Pussyvan: A flurry, temper — “The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever Forgotten” by Jeffrey Kacirk
Wonder-wench: A sweetheart — “The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever Forgotten” by Jeffrey Kacirk
Lunting: Walking while smoking a pipe — John Mactaggart’s “Scottish Gallovidian Encyclopedia,” 1824
California widow: A married woman whose husband is away from her for any extended period — John Farmer’s “Americanisms Old and New”, 1889
Groak: To silently watch someone while they are eating, hoping to be invited to join them – www.ObsoleteWord.Blogspot.com
Jirble: To pour out (a liquid) with an unsteady hand: as, he jirbles out a dram — www.Wordnik.com
Curglaff: The shock felt in bathing when one first plunges into the cold water — John Jamieson’s Etymological Scottish Dictionary, 1808
Spermologer: A picker-up of trivia, of current news, a gossip monger, what we would today call a columnist — “The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever Forgotten” by Jeffrey Kacirk
Tyromancy: Divining by the coagulation of cheese — “The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever Forgotten” by Jeffrey Kacirk
Beef-witted: Having an inactive brain, thought to be from eating too much beef. — John Phin’s “Shakespeare Cyclopaedia and Glossary”, 1902
Queerplungers: Cheats who throw themselves into the water in order that they may be taken up by their accomplices, who carry them to one of the houses appointed by the Humane Society for the recovery of drowned persons, where they are rewarded by the society with a guinea each, and the supposed drowned person, pretending he was driven to that extremity by great necessity, is also frequently sent away with a contribution in his pocket. — “The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever Forgotten” by Jeffrey Kacirk
Englishable: That which may be rendered into English — John Ogilvie’s “Comprehensive English Dictionary”, 1865
Resistentialism: The seemingly spiteful behavior shown by inanimate objects — www.ObsoleteWord.Blogspot.com
Bookwright: A writer of books; an author; a term of slight contempt — Daniel Lyons’s “Dictionary of the English Language”, 1897
Soda-squirt: One who works at a soda fountain in New Mexico —Elsie Warnock’s “Dialect Speech in California and New Mexico”, 1919
With squirrel: Pregnant — Vance Randolph’s “Down in the Holler: A Gallery of Ozark Folk Speech”, 1953
Zafty: A person very easily imposed upon — Maj. B. Lowsley’s “A Glossary of Berkshire Words and Phrases”, 1888